Bullsh*t

Wow! I need one of these. Actually I need two. They yell out BULLSHIT when you push the button.  One to stay at home and one to put in my pocket for my outings. I’m afraid they wouldn’t last very long. I’d use them often.

When I’m at home, I know I’d get my monies worth. It actually could be alarming exactly how much ‘BULLSHIT’ would be spilling out of my button. I do have Flyp you know. The teenager who is more often then not in kahoots with Einstein. I will give them 100 for effort, they are always trying to BULLSHIT me on something; Usually why a chore or request didn’t get done. Again. The button would definitely get used several times daily.

Next I’d love to go to Flyps high school. Oh how I love to hate on the barbaric school system. I would push the bottom with a hand held speaker horn hooked up to it with my first step into the school. BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT all the way to the administration offices. Then I would walk in, BULLSHIT as they all sit around drinking coffee and eating cookies. Let’s give it a few more beeps! I really want them to know what I think of them. No misunderstandings left on the table. Then off to find Mr. Wonderful. I would ask the principal what he’s doing about the kids smoking on school property, and the ones smoking a joint in their vehicle on school property. I have yet to show up at this school and NOT see these infractions taking place. I show up often. Yes I’m that mom. But you don’t see my kid out there smoking. If he’s going to smoke I will make it very difficult for him to find a way. I’ve confronted the school previously and asked why the smokers of all kinds aren’t dealt with. I got a sob story about how there is only two of them and they can’t be out there 24/7. BULLSHIT BULLSHIT Ummmm why not? You just let the kids rule? BULLSHIT!!! I want to know why shitty uninterested detrimental teachers are on my tax roll. BULLSHIT The list of BULLSHIT in the school system is too long to put in this blog.  I would even be willing to follow Mr. Wonderful around for an entire day beeping that button as I spew my questions at him. BULLSHIT!! I’d even bring my other one from home just to make sure I had back up, should we have technical difficulties over the heavy usage.

A few months ago I could of used my BULLSHIT button at the gas pumps. But for now it will stay in the car while I fill up.

I have a few acquaintances and family members that I would pull up in their driveway and just beep it until they come out and see what’s going on. Give it one last honk BULLSHIT and be on my way to the next house.

Then I would show up at the SPCA. Need I say more? Oh the rounds I could make. Grocery store check outs as I sweat bullets trying to digest the cost of feeding a family a healthy non-boxed diet, political offices, veterinary offices, animal testing labs, police stations and the list would go on and on.

Ahhhh tax season. This would be my best yet!!! I will bribe some innocents with gifts or their own bullshit button if they join my marching band. We will march into Rev Can to personally deliver my taxes just so I can have a symphony of BULLSHIT buttons going off all at once as I drop my envelope on the counter. A big BULLSHIT fiesta! Almost makes me excited for tax season.

Then I would walk into every church….you know where this is going.

BULLSHIT

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s