Tag Archives: Family

I Waited My Whole Life ….

…for a girl like her. Today I mourn the loss of my canine soulmate. Cinder is my everything. She is more than I ever could ask a canine companion to be. She is a German Shepherd like no other I’ve ever had the chance to meet, and the best part is, her and I, we were one, for 6 wonderful years.

She is so incredibly intelligent, balanced, respectful, protective and kind. It’s her unconditional love that I will miss every day of my future life. She helped me show people that German Shepherds are not to be feared. She got camp grounds to remove their bans on German Sheps after meeting her and proving them wrong. She showed the fearful that she was a kind and gentle soul and would slather them in kisses to prove it! She even won over the haters!!

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How we got to today.
Just over a year ago Cinder ruptured her ACL on her hind left leg. X-rays also revealed a partial tear of her right ACL. Surgery was upwards of $8-$10,000 and not a guarantee with a fairly long restricted recovery. We took an alternative route, a brace for her ruptured leg, cartrophen shots at the vet and some natural supplements.

Now, Miss Cinder can be a bit stubborn and it took us a few different styles of braces before we got one she would walk in while wearing. If you knew Cinder well, you’d know she spent most of her day roaming our 23 acres while on flock protection duty. Her brace wasn’t meant to be worn other than for ‘short designated’ walks. Well, I wasn’t telling them that this working dog stays at it most of the day … We were just going to figure out what would work.

We had already retired the ball and chuck-it as soon as the first ACL ruptured. She lived to find that ball after we buried it in the bush and we took the throwing of it away to help preserve her right leg and reduce her pain in the left. Every day she would get her ball and drop it at your feet and stare at you. Waiting. Not understanding. Eventually she’d take it and give up and roll all over it. The ultimate love of a toy. Now to tell her to stay put on her bed, she’d have to be in her dog crate/kennel locked up for that to happen. I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that to her. It’s not in her DNA. This is a German shepherd, the working and incredibly intelligent breed! My golden retriever would ask for that recommendation in writing so he can show me for the days I force him off his bed but Miss Cinder wouldn’t have any of that. She had a job to do.

The brace helped. It definitely did. However, it wears on her, and if worn too long she will bleed. We made some adjustments and got minimal use out of it before she would start to tug at it. She wanted freedom.

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Most recently she completely ruptured her other ACL. These are very painful conditions. As far as pain goes, on a scale of 1-10 their pain can be as high as a 9. We were now dealing with 2 legs in excruciating pain. Every day.

I asked a lot of her to live with one ruptured ACL and the pain that goes along with that. She did it for me. She would do it longer and again if I asked her. She did it without even flinching in her personality for over a year. Her demeanour, kindness and loyalty never wavered. Not even once. I could not ask her to live with twice the pain for another year. She has served me and it is my turn to serve her, to finally release her from her pain.

It was such a heart wrenching, soul twisting decision to make. I paced the floor for days, knowing what the right thing to do was, but getting there took a lot for me to finally acknowledge I had to let go. To not ask her to hang on longer. I desperately wanted to, I was ready to beg her …she would. But it wouldn’t be fair.

I love her fiercely and I still can’t imagine my days without her. She’s my girl. We are a team. I still need her. Very much so. I’m not ready to let go. Six years is not long enough for such a beautiful soul. But I had to accept and I love her enough to release her from her pain. It couldn’t be about me any longer. I have been selfish long enough.

It’s been her and I for 6 years. It was her and I with her last heartbeat. I couldn’t imagine any other way. Her and I. Always. To the end.

I feel very alone in my grieving. No one loves her like I do and I know and felt her love each and every day. She would give her life for this family without hesitation. Such a huge loss. The loss of love to give, and the loss of love to receive.

I haven’t cried so very hard from the depths of my soul in such a long time. I was at her side until the last beat of her heart. Her last breath. I held her long after she was gone. I cried into her chest. The sadness is overwhelming. I hugged her and told her I was soooo sorry I kept her in pain for so long and she needed to be free now. I thanked her for her loyalty, devotion to our family and her immense love. I laid on the floor with her, hugging her until it didn’t feel like her anymore.

Such a tragedy. Cinder is gone. Forever.

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Hot For Your Tamales!!

Oh sometimes Einstein cracks me up. His sense of humour is challenging on the best of days, but sometimes he can make me giggle a little bit.

His humour is off the wall. Like I seriously think something is wrong with him most days. Too many glue sniffing challenges as a teenager? Too many wooden spoons to the head by his mother as a child? What makes someone so out there with humour that it actually has the ability to annoy me. That’s the absolute furthest from funny you can get.  That’s my Einstein.

He’ll say something to Flyp and it literally stops me in my tracks because it’s so out there, I’ll try to process it and search far and wide for a tinge of funny in it, yet both Flyp and Einstein are falling over laughing. It’s just not funny. No. But to them it’s hilarious and they’re hysterical with laughter and zing-backs to keep it a long lived joke going and going.  This happens daily with these two. I’m pretty sure they are the only two who can relate and be amused at this style of humour.

This might be over sharing but here goes anyways. Einstein and I have been together for approx. 18 years.  i can honestly say it has never been about how he makes me laugh or how we lay around and laugh at the same movies or tv shows.  We are complete opposites in that department.  His sense humour has never been on the ‘pros’ side of the chart for me.  Einstein does get bonus points for keeping the teenager laughing though.  I know I couldn’t keep the humour flowing because that is way too complex for me … Or so I’ve been told. 😳

Last night we were laying in bed watching Nurse Jackie. (Haven’t seen it? Get on it!) Einstein was rubbing my hips (oh the pain) but then it was my turn to rub his legs; They always bug him. So off the wall I said “its a good thing I still lust for you” as I put more lavender on his legs.

He responds with a cheeky ‘oh Ya? Why’s that?”

So then I went into all the reasons why he’s a pain in my ass and frustrates me daily and his family drives me around the bend, all told with my sarcastic but exaggerated factual tone etc,. He just nods. He knows the truth is in there. Then he flips me over and says ‘well it’s a good thing I’m still hot for your tamales.’

Well I just busted a gut. That just cracked me right up!! A laugh I definitely needed and a rare gift from his humour that’s for sure.

Bam!! Gift #2!!

Today we were talking about some grading that needs to get done here at home – as we are under water from this rainfall today. To boot, the worst of it is yet to hit the ground. Anyways. We have a lot of mosquitos. I mean a lot. Insane amount. There are so many you can become some crazed freak when they zip around your ears and buzz loudly like they are the size of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. We are 23 acres here with approx. 20-21 acres of it being all trees and bush. The acreage is a registered marshland and can I just tell you what that means for mosquitos?! It’s a 5 star rated resort for the biting pests, that’s what it is.

So Einstein said he needs to put in weeping tile and get it all drained to the ditch at the end. He follows that with “I’ll need to put on my snowmobile suit to deal with the mis-cots” (what he calls mosquitos). Again, the visual had me giggling because there are some things a grown man with a bit of a belly shouldn’t wear and that is a one peace snow suit. Never. Ever. And to wear it in the heat of the summer in defence from our crazy mosquito population is just too much of a visual without letting out a laugh.

Well done Einstein. Two laughs in 24 hours from your whacked out humour. It’s more than the total in 2014!!

Roar!!

I wake at 6 to my alarm clock blaring ‘Roar’ by Katy Perry.

🎵 I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar 🎵

That’s how I choose to start my day; Roar!!! Haha! And some people innocently wonder why I’m crazy.

I don’t crawl out of bed until 6:30. As I put on my shoes and still wiping sleep from my eyes, I walk drunkenly to the coop and manage to open the door and say ‘good morning sexy ladies’ and walk back to the house hoping (not praying) the caffeine in my tea doesn’t let me down this morning.

I give my dogs a hug and send them on their way for their morning pee. I put the kettle on and watch the dogs do their business and I make sure they climb back up the deck to the back door and they lay down to watch and listen.

I test my blood sugar. Moan and groan and remind myself to call a clinic Monday. I mentally schedule a long walk after dinner at the lake. Blood sugar yesterday 6.9 (124), blood sugar today 6.3 (114).

The kettle whistle blows (extremely annoying first thing in the morning, but after almost burning the house down with a whistle-less kettle, whistles are now mandatory) and I pour my boiling water over my tea bag. I grab my cup, add some honey and sit in front of my iPad at the kitchen table, looking out over a portion of the backyard. I do a head count on free ranging chickens. Yup all is good.

In my head I’m already scheduling out my day in sync with my first sip of tea. Today I must cut the grass, weed the veggie garden (have to stay on top of it or it gets out of control fast!) and weed a small garden at bottom of deck. I found some good quality herbs (finally) so I need to also get those planted today Along with a few flowers that are left over and need to get planted as well.

I’ll toss the litter in the coop, add some more flax bedding, refresh water supply, feed them all, check all the babies and make sure everyone is doing fine.  I’ll let the babies out to free range today when it gets just a little bit warmer.  I’ll mix up some vegetable and fruit in suet boxes and hang in the outdoor pen for chickens to peck at today. I’ll defrost some organic peas for their afternoon treat with organic oats. They love both!! But nothing comes close to the obsession with meal worms.

I need to work on the storage shed – the one I’m turning into a duck coop. I decided chickens and ducks together is a bacterial disaster waiting to happen. Chickens need low humidity and ducks are wet and messy. Coop Clash. I have to put up wire in the storage shed to make sure it is sealed and secure and start on nesting boxes. Doubt I’ll get this far in my day, but whatever is left over on the to-do list will be carried to next weekend.

I decide on ribs, grilled veggies and salad for dinner. I hit the freezer for the ribs and pull the dogs dinner out; full bodied chicken carcass and a block of organ meats for their dinner. (Disgusting I know!!)

I’m listening to Miss Molly call her flock again, she’s only been lost half a dozen times in the last 20 minutes.

The hummingbirds just came to the window. I believe that is code for fill up my feeders!!! I have 4 feeders this year and 6 hummingbirds. They’re pretty territorial and I’ve seen some good swoops in their battles for the full feeders. Oh there gores Miss Molly again. Lost.

I texted Flyp, and told him to be good today and work hard. I’m pretty sure he rolled his eyes as he read it, but the day I don’t text he’ll wonder what’s wrong. Today he’s a brick layer!! (Well a helper) I’m sure he’s super happy!! He loves working with his hands and masonry work is right up his alley. Masonry is one term of his co-op. Framing is his second term.

I remind myself that I’m out for dinner with friends tomorrow and have to get my new outfit washed and hung to dry! Oh Ya, I need to put out the clothes dryer outside today too. Ugh!! The list is growing and growing.

I’m not hungry, but I know my blood sugar won’t be happy if I don’t eat. I’ll grab a banana on my way outdoors and the ‘meal’ can wait till I’m good and hungry. A few hours outside and a BLT will be a welcome brunch!!!

I run downstairs after my tea is done and have a peek in at my work desk. My shoulders slump and I sigh. I put a load of laundry on, while wondering if the papers will ever end. I’m a wee bit thankful that the week is full of rain so I’ll be stuck in the house and can get caught up on work.

I head back upstairs to dust and vacuum the main floor and tidy the bathroom with a quick wipe of faucets, sink and counter. Check the toilet to see if any elephant trunks went wild this morning … Give the toilet rim a quick wipe and tell myself one day I’ll put an electric toilet rim rebound of sorts and if they miss they’ll get a slap in the nuts. Not sure how it would all work, but maybe I should figure it out and patent it. I’ll be rich!!  Look out Dragon Den, here I come!

A quick dusting will have to do today, I have a lot to do outdoors. I’ll make a hot bucket of water with vinegar and tea tree oil and wash the floors at the end of the day, when I’m done with my in and out all day.

I’m heading outside to start my busy day. It’s sunny, but a cool breezy day. This is good, it helps to keeps the mosquitos down and keeps me cool while working. A good dose of clove oil all over me and I’ll be bug free despite our massive load of mosquitos and biting bugs!!

I wish everyone a happy Saturday and I hope you spend it your way!

Did I mention the ducklings are coming??? Of course I did. Can’t wait to blog about this addition to my flock.

Since I am late posting this I thought I would post some pictures of my helpers during the day.

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Always help right at your feet!! Any bugs are taken care of!! Such sweet girls!!

P.S. –> we have a large load of mosquitos here – we are a registered marshland. Our summers have been ruined previous years by biting bugs and no matter what toxic or natural products I put on, we’d all be covered in bites. I found this site and decided to just try clove since it has 100% repellency when used in straight form. Our location can honestly be a test site for repellency – it’s unbearable. Clove has changed my life in the summer. I can go outside in a t-shirt with clove on and I am not eaten alive and not even really bothered with any around me. I just shake into my palm and apply full strength. It can burn a little bit on the neck, but I’ll take that for a few minutes verses mosquito bites all over!! I can actually work outside and not be double layered in the sweltering heat and humidity of the summer and sweating my gonads off (the ones I don’t have). I also rub on my dogs to help them repel mosquitoes and ticks. Especially Cinder who is sold black! They swarm her.
Anyways .. If you’re interested..
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16041723

The Crazy Train Stopped & Picked Me Up

Craziness aka My Week!

Life is definitely maxed out. I’m at full capacity right now and I only have time to write this while I drink a tea for breakfast. At this point in my week, I’m frustrated, overwhelmed and annoyed, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ve been given an amazing opportunity with a supply of free paint to take on a DIY project and blog about the paints quality. Amazing right?! Right. I had a very short window to get this started and completed as being a small construction company, warmer weather consumes any spare time I may think I might of had. We also have backyard chickens arriving in 10 days and need to finish the coop.  Our property clean up is always a big deal in the spring with approx. 20 acres of trees surrounding us (of our 23 acres) you can not imagine the leaves around here and the clean up is a HUGE job.

In our home we have all been fighting this crazy cold and stomach flu for about a month. The weather only turned nice a few weekends ago giving me less of a window to get started on the DIY project. I need to be able to paint outdoors as I am the messiest painter their is. Trust me when I admit drop sheets definitely don’t give my home enough protection from me. I walk in paint and walk around and ruin floors, I spill paint and it always seems to be EVERYWHERE. I’m a hot mess when it comes to painting. You know how you see people accidentally pour trays of paint all over themselves and people win $10,000 on Americas funniest vides, well that is me (minus the $10,000 damn it!). Two left feet, and 3 right hands that all manage to get tangled. Anyways, being sick with this cold/flu, I just didn’t have the energy to take it on. That left this weekend as my final opportunity to tackle this DIY project until late fall.

Saturday is here and I’m still sick as can be but I was determined to get this project done this weekend. I had to do some quick errands and a quick visit with a friend, then I was heading home to prep for the DIY project. I wanted to respect the company’s generosity and do them proud and get this completed. As luck would have it, this weekend ended up being a total right off. Flyp, my 15 year old son had a medical emergency Saturday and ended in the ER getting his face and shoulder stitched, glued and taped back together.

I was visiting a friend on the outskirts of town while I did some errands in the area and he just bought a new home, I was only going to be 5 minutes as I got shown around and had a quick chat so I didn’t see a need to bring my phone in with me. You know how it is, 2 hours later I force myself out the door. Into my car and my stomach just sunk. There is nothing that can make my stomach sink deeper than looking at my phone and seeing 23 missed calls from Einstein and at least a dozen texts saying CALL ME NOW. By the time I called him back, Einstein tells me Flyp is in Surgery Room 1. What?? I screamed in the phone, what the fuck, what what what!!???!!!????

I make it to the hospital in record time and I’m horrified when I walk in the room. Flyp laying on a bed, doctor at his side but Flyp wouldn’t let them stitch him up until I got there. I felt like I was going to pass out as I saw my sons face ripped up and I must of looked like I was going to hit the dance floor because the doctor asked me if I needed to sit for a minute before we begun. I pull it together for Flyps sake and tell myself I can pass out and shed tears later so I respond to the doctor with ‘NOPE, LET’S GET’ER DONE.’

I rubbed Flyps arm and held his hand while I assured him he was fine and made small chat with the doctor while I watch his face get stitched, then glued and then surgical strips applied to the remainder of his face and shoulder. Btw, surgery room 1 is not surgery as I visioned or like I thought as I was breaking every speed limit on the way to the hospital, it’s where they stitch or cast up limbs etc. Not the face transplant I was envisioning.

So we finally get home and everyone is exhausted from the ordeal, especially Flyp. He apparently asked his Dad in the truck on the way to emerg if he was going to die. The loss of blood was apparently a lot. That alone brought tears to my eyes because the thought of how much fear he must of been experiencing just crumbles my heart.

It’s hard to have kids and allow them freedoms lol. We should be able to shrink wrap them until 18 and then mail them in a box to their college dorm. Ok, you made it to 18, I did my job. But as parents we know it’s never that easy. It’s even harder to love them so much you’d do anything to take their place when they are suffering but know that also isn’t an option. Powerless moms aren’t the happiest people on the planet, this I can vouch for.

Sunday arrives. Can I just tell you what fibromyalgia thinks of sudden extreme stress? Flyp was fine, swollen and in minimal pain but true to Flyps nature, nothing slows him down because he was back outside helping with the beginnings of the chicken coop. Kids are so resilient!! I spent my day staying mobile for fear of a complete body seize lol. I went for a walk with the dogs, cleaned the screened in room and got the summer exterior furniture set back up, made dinner, some laundry, but no DIY even being a consideration. Couldn’t not even find the mental capacity for this project on Sunday.

This cold I have is horrible. It’s been a few years since I’ve been this sick. This week has definitely been the worst of the cold and only today I just started to feel a bit more energetic. Phew. It’s been a very long haul and I feel extra behind in everything as I’ve been at low capacity most days. Now I need to play catch up which will consume my weekends and make for longer than normal days. Time is not on my side this time of year.

Regrettably, I will be returning the paint for my not-started DIY project.  My frustration level is a bit high over this, as I recognize and appreciate the value in the opportunity.  Time won’t open up until late fall for me.  Ugh!

I’ve been struggling with my blood glucose since Sunday. I mean struggling. Big numbers, for me. I haven’t done anything different other than have a bit of ice cream here and there because of this insistent sore throat and my food consumption has actually been less because I just haven’t felt good. I’m the first to be accountable for my errors and wrong doings, but I’m just confused as to the high sugar readings.

In comes Google. Apparently stress, lack of sleep and sickness all rise your blood glucose. See my chart of blood glucose?. Sunday the 3rd ⬆️⬆️⬆️ the day after Flyps accident. See today? ⬇️⬇️ Much better as things seem to be coming back into line again.
Stress = Flyp needing his face sewn up
Sickness = Hell yes
Lack of sleep = hacking, sickness and stress all contributing this week.

With this nasty cold I can’t even walk the stairs without crackling in my lungs, wheezing and hacking my head off. I have not been ‘physical’ since Saturday am. Yesterday I bunkered down, went for a walk regardless of the hacking that took place. Blood glucose yesterday morning up 2 points. 118mg/dL. I know it takes more than a day to get things in order so I just have to stay diligent.

Yesterday morning I made a point of eating regardless of how crappy I felt (2 hard boiled eggs) and had to take Flyp to our doctor to get his stitches removed and check up on the other gashes that are glued and taped. It’s amazing how well the face heals itself and how awesome it is to be young. I was so impressed when I saw how it looked. I think I felt about 5000lbs of weight was lifted off my shoulders within seconds. The surgeon really did some amazing work stitching him up and he’ll barely have scars visible from what was huge gapping gashes. Anticipation of the ‘reveal’ I’m sure was an underlying stress contributor. After our appointment, we went out for lunch and I ate a Greek salad with fish on the side. Pork tenderloin and salad for dinner. No fruit yesterday.

I also got my ultra sound results yesterday at the doctor. No gall stones left in there. Everything in that area is happier now and my doctor said I likely had a gallbladder attack and/or passed small stones during my episodes with juicing. What the ultra sound also revealed is that I have fat in my liver and pancreas. Omg!! Like seriously, when is this going to end. Anyways, I’m remembering my accountability and I’m on it. (With the amazing help and support of my acupuncture/chinese medicine dude. I stopped to see him on my way home of course all in a tizzy).

I slept a bit better last night, feel like the cold is slowly but surely exiting my body and I have a tiny bit of energy. I’ve added vitamin D to my daily intake (via wild organic portobello mushrooms in a capsule). Also Chromium is now added to my daily intake with vitamin B100 complex. All to help with blood glucose, carbs, proteins etc along with other benefits of course. I also have some powder stuff to put in a tea from my acupuncturist .., DISGUSTING. I have to figure out how I can make this tea tolerable because I feel like I’m drinking a mixture of beard bacteria and toe jam. Yes, it is that yummy.

This morning my blood glucose was back down to 5.1mmol/L or 92mg/dL and I’m very pleased. It’s been a long week and I’ve learned a lot. I learned that our blood glucose isn’t only affected by what we consume in our meals, it is also affected by environmental, emotional and physical factors. I’ve also learned that getting my adventurous teenager alive into adult hood is a much bigger challenge than I ever expected.  Who would of known…

As the crazy trains whistle blows, I hope the next stop is mine to get off!😉

Glycemic Index

I had a great chat with my sister the other day. Actually we always have good chats but this one she was a fountain of information. We talked a bit about T2D and how I am so frustrated trying to figure this shit out. Eat this, but not that healthy item and all of a sudden fruit isn’t my friend. She is such a good solid person to bounce things off of and very knowledgable on many accounts, so much so that I always seem to be walking away with the long end of the stick.

When my doctor first told me type 2 pre-diabetes I didn’t hear much after that. He offered me vouchers, websites and ask if I had any questions, but my response was ‘I’ll figure it out on my own.’
As I exited the medical building I dumped everything he had given me. As soon as I saw grains etc., as part of my recommended eating for diabetes I threw it out. The whole reason I knew something was going on, is because when I eat grains I feel like I’m approaching a coma state. Fast. I really don’t know why I get solitaire as I prepare to fight my battles, but it almost insults me to take help of any kind. That is, until I’m ready to ask and accept help.

I don’t have much faith in most (if any) ‘corporate organizations’ such as The Canadian Diabetes Association, as I’m sure they are funded and backed by someone they shouldn’t be; Kind of like David Suzuki owning property/land with an oil giant (which he does by the way) or like The Non-GMO Project could be in bed with Monsanto (I can’t confirm what happens when the lights go out, but it wouldn’t shock me).

At the end of the day, illnesses are big business!! Any large scale illness, in my opinion, would be similar to, what I like to call, The Cancer Corporation. The business of Cancer is astronomical money!! More people, of varying professions, make a living off Cancer than those that die of it. It’s a fact. Don’t hate me for stating the truth; Cancer is a hugely profitable ‘corporation’. I’m going to assume diabetes, to some degree is also similar in its structure.

Although I am always grateful for the research and the availability of resources, I can’t help but wonder, way to often actually, why we don’t look at preventative measures instead of treatments and cures. I have to stop myself right here because I will lose my mind if I indulge in this topic.

Onwards…
I did take the time to read some of the information provided on the Canadian Diabetes website and a few other websites, but I’m not ready to declare myself a member. I wanted to learn how to avoid being welcomed aboard, to not accept the badge of sick honour and I don’t want to learn how to be a good role model for other diabetics. I decided to change how I was searching in Google. Instead of ‘understanding type 2 diabetes’ as my google search, I changed it to ‘how to beat type 2 diabetes’. Granted there isn’t as much information on not becoming a diabetic, but there is enough to get me going in the right direction.

I didn’t tell any of my family or even Einstein for almost a month when I first heard I was pre-diabetic. At this point there wasn’t any blood glucose measuring going on as I was waiting for a metre and the welcome to diabetes package to arrive in the mail. It is free if you want to wait 4-6 weeks. Free? Of course I’ll wait. This waiting period for a glucose meter gave me plenty of time to research and attempt to figure things out. Or so I thought.

Since my research started sometime in February, I haven’t had any of my searches with understanding diabetes and the food I consume bring up any resulting in a glycemic index. Now, admittedly I’m not an Internet guru, but something so important as this glycemic index should be in BOLD on the front page of the Canadian Diabetes Association. If you type glycemic index into the search bar on their page, you can find information, but you have to know about the index to put it in the search bar. Duh!

When talking with my sister, after she listened to me complain and whine for a while, she mentioned the glycemic index. This glycemic index thing, it’s a distant foggy memory, I know I’ve heard it somewhere before, but I’m not exactly sure where or why. She went on to explain how it works and I was listening, all 3 ears wide open. As soon as I got off the phone with her, I googled. Wow. Very enlightening. Although what I have looked at so far is limiting to understanding the whole index and even the foods listed seem to be limited, but it’s a great start to a better understanding. To get a better grasp and obtain my own comprehensive list, a trip to Chapters sounds good to me (there just seems to always be people there every time I go 😞).

Since juicing I have struggled with my blood sugar, more so than before I started this whole juicing. I also pissed off my liver or gall bladder (heading to doctor today to see what’s going on there) but my sister suggested that maybe juicing isn’t the right approach. There are so many behind the scene reasons to Type 2 Diabetes that it isn’t just black or white. I won’t get into that whole portion of the conversation, but I focus a lot on what I’m eating and expecting big changes, when I could and should also be focusing on some other factors.  (I am already a good eater, so expecting huge changes isn’t necessary appropriate when small changes have been made to my diet.  There needs to have change come from another shift in lifestyle – with still some changes to my diet of course). Also, a good point made was, the amount of produce that is required for juicing, which all has a glycemic level so I’m learning, and if I’m using a high quantity of produce to make juice this could have adverse affects?? I decided to test her theory.

For 2 days I left the juicing alone and ate responsibility and added some form of exercise to my day; walk with my best man drake, or raking the lawn till the blisters make me stop. Both mornings I have been below 90mg/dL- one morning being 85 and this morning being 88. Those are numbers I have been working so hard to reach with juicing. Go figure haha!! Oh and get this!! Yesterday was a very busy day and while out doing groceries I picked up quinoa pasta to make for dinner (fast and easy), because the glycemic index says it’s good stuff, so I had quinoa pasta and salad for dinner. The real test was my BG this morning at 88mg/dL. Impressive I must say. That would never happen with regular pasta. Never.

I am currently researching chromium as it is recommended in small doses. Recommended by my Chinese medicine/acupuncture dude but I’m not convinced a ‘metal’ is something I need to add to my intake, so I’m digging deep in. Where? Google where else!!

I also started a vitamin B100 complex. Warning: your pee becomes sunshine yellow when you take Vit B… B3 or B2 Riboflavin I think? I can’t remember. One of the B’s make you want to rush to the doctor if you didn’t now how it would affect your urine.

Through all of this blood sugar drama; it really is drama. What else can you call this? It’s like a bunch of high school girl cells and insulin got together and were fighting over the boy they should never want. Ugh. Anyways, through all this drama, Google as been at my finger tips. I Google and Google and Google. Get this! I even Google past the 2nd and 3rd pages. I’m astounded at how much my independence, decision making and research depends on my Google searches. I’m amazed and appreciative of the availability and the amount of information that is at the tip of our fingertips.

Happy Birthday Dandan

My grandfathers birthday is today. Jack Dickens. Born March 11th 1923. He would be 92 years old if he was here with us today. My sister who ‘knew’ him before me (long story) declared his name was Dandan, which is what all his grand children and great grand children have called him.

Today in his honour I’d like to share a bit about him. This was my grandfather. Dandan.

He was tall with dark hair, pleasant features and he tanned so well in the summer. As I child I remember thinking boy I’ll never be as tall as Dandan, he’s a giant. Not really, but you know how kids think.

My family is crazy and loud and full of superstars who love the spotlight. I don’t think quiet conversations ever has been a ‘thing’ when the family gathers. Dandan was always confident and quiet. He could sit in a room full of family conversing and carrying on with loud laughter and just watch the conversation flow and be more than comfortable not saying one word. Magically he was a part of the whole atmosphere without really taking part in it. I remember at times, often actually, the abundance of noise was overwhelming for me, probably the beginning of my introvert life, and he would give me a nod with a tug of his head and I’d crawl up on his lap and soak up his soothing calmness. After a few minutes I couldn’t resist my wild and crazy cousins any longer and rejoined the pack rejuvenated.

His calmness is forever remembered with me. My life has been crazy, like most and I wish I could find what I assume was his submission to all of life’s chaos. As an adult I admire his strength to exist amongst such strong personalities, hold his own and he did it with such class. You never felt unwelcome or it was a bad time, or that you were taking up too much of his time. I admire that he didn’t need to be the clown or the jokester, the drunkest, the chef, the smartest or the loudest. He would just putter around or read his books or listen to the rooms conversations.

During the period of my life with the most memories he was a math teacher, assistant head master and then head master of an all boys private school. He was fun and active. Once in a while he’d be cheeky and in my older teen years I would take a double look at him and he’d give me a wink. He played cricket, squash and I think tennis and I have thought deep, but I don’t really have memories of him swimming. My Nannie (his wife) swam a lot and taught my sister and I how to swim and to not fear but respect water. My sister and I would go and watch him play cricket and as we got a bit older we went to check out the boys. Haha! ADMIT IT SISTER!! Cricket is terribly boring by the way, but I thought he was famous or something cause they would all clap when he took the bat thing. Ok, my cricket lingo isn’t up to par. Is par in cricket? Do I get a point for that?

I remember him playing squash with my dad. I think I can even remember it was typically Thursday evenings, but a twinge of a memory also tells me it was twice a week for some time. We would normally go to my Nannies for dinner and my dad and Dandan would head to the courts and whack it out. Sometimes my sister and I would go watch but it was usually the freedom to walk around the campus that we were after. It was exactly what my dad needed with his long hours and stressful job. I always remember the difference in my dad’s mood after playing squash and they would joke about who kicked whose butt back at the house. My dad took a beating sometimes haha – or so he says he did, but for both of them I’m sure it was never about the score. In my adult perspective maybe it was a bit about my Dandan taking a somewhat of a fatherly role, one that maybe my dad lacked a bit of as a child. And/or It could of been Dandans way of inviting my dad into the family and my dad accepting the invite. It’s exactly something my Dandan would do. Good times regardless.

My grand parents took my sister and I to Florida. At least once. I don’t have many memories other than having to do school work in the back seat while we drove down south, battling car sickness. It was horrible. If I signed up for a second trip I’d be surprised at myself. I do recall that is where I discovered Filet-O-Fish from McDonalds. My sister and I would be given money and told to go explore and gather our own lunches. It was their way of allowing us to be independent, make choices and feel in control. I lived for lunch hour!!! The Sand Dollar Cafe has just surfaced as a memory, with our sun dresses .. I’m thinking we must of ate there for dinner a lot too. If you know me, you’d know that to remember food is characteristic of me haha!

It would be hard to pick out ONE favourite memory with Dandan. I do have one that is very true to the type of man he was…

Approximately somewhere between 1976-1978
My grandparents took my sister and I to an island. Not just any island, an isolated island on a warm lake were we stayed naked almost the whole time. Rabbit Nose Island.  We were instructed by my grandparents to not lie about being naked but we didn’t need to offer certain details. Yes we had a naked vacation. Being as young as we were, we understood the message and giggled about it to ourselves often. We figured our parents would lose their minds at the thought of their 2 daughters being naked all day every day for at least a week. I loved that we were doing something with permission but that they would hate. Defiant from the beginning. My sister threw her clothes off almost immediately and was in a naked state long before me. They didn’t pressure me just said it was an option if and when I was ready. It took me about 2 days but once I was naked that was it, no turning back. If I’m honest I can tell you I have no idea if my grandparents were naked with us. That tells me the age was perfect because it didn’t matter. Well done Nannie & Dandan.

Karen, do you remember the bunny shed?? Some big pink floppy eared bunny on the shed or cabin off to the side? We spent a day crammed in with dolls and books when it rained for one day. We could barely turn around with the 2 of us in there but we managed a whole day. Ha! Good times.

So during this time frame I struggled with number 6 and 9. 9 was 6 or 6 was 9 and it wasn’t seeming to sort itself out. Being a math teacher I’m sure it drove my grandfather bonkers when I said they were the exact same and it didn’t matter. (And you can bet I said it with a lot of arrogant conviction lol) I tried for hours to convince him they were the same and he was wrong. Why would they make the same number look different? It’s the same just turn it around. See? I told you so Dandan. Oh boy I was stubborn. He never lost his cool over it, I can’t say the same for me.

Anyways, while I was naked on our Gilligan’s Island, I spent most of my time in the water. I would build forts for the fish in the shallow part and capture them, put them in their safe home (so they wouldn’t get eaten) and name them all. I even had one for some little cray fish or whatever they were with their little lobster like bodies and legs. So I would count them as I caught and added them to their new Fort. 1, 2, …5, 9, 7, 8, 6 and Dandan while reading would gently correct me. I’m sure I told him he was breaking my concentration or something snippy, but he didn’t flinch or give up, just corrected me while he obviously pretended to read. Nannys rule was I had to let them go every night because they had family to go home to. I said I was their new family and what if they weren’t there in the morning bla bla bla. She said you must take one wall down and if they want to leave they can. Fine. The next day I’ll get them all this time and they can all be a family in the Fort but that was mission impossible I learned as the days went on. I’m assuming after a few days of my collection obsession Dandan must of come up with an idea. He told me he had a new game he wanted to play and asked me if I would play with him too. I asked what it was, he said either you want to play or you don’t, but once you say yes you have to keep playing until the game is done. Fine. As long as I could keep catching my new family and hugging them and naming them all. I had to count, 10 fish allowed in each Fort and if I got 6 and 9 confused (he never said wrong) I had to release them all and start back over. Challenge accepted!

I first had to build more and bigger Forts cause I was about to win a lot!! 1 fish. 2 fish. 3 fish. 4 fish. 5 fish. 9 fish. He would gently remove the rock wall on one side and the fish would swim away. I would huff and puff and storm around before settling back in to recatch my new family members. He said Sandra listen to me. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. He would repeat it a few times but me being me, I was always right (not so much) and just knew I would get it right next time. So the capturing started again. 1 fish. 2 fish. 3 fish. 4 fish. 5 fish. 6 fish. 7 fish. 8 fish. 6 fish. There goes the wall. This went on for days!!! He would write the numbers with a rock sometimes on another rock (you know, the chalk like mark it makes) and we would read together and he would wash it away. I would start my capturing again. Failure. He didn’t give up, but neither did I.

The next day he cut our toast for breakfast into soldiers, to dunk in cracked boiled eggs, and would count out loud my sisters portion and mine, making a big deal out of #6 and #9 and where they belonged. I’m pretty sure back then I even rolled my eyes.

Back out we all went to the lake and my forts. There was obviously some rough waters during the night and my forts were ruined. We decided to build some new forts and he helped. We counted the rocks together me always mixing up 6 and/or 9 and he didn’t make a big deal, he would just keep going. That day we went through the capture and release again. Not getting my numbers right at all. That night by the Bon fire I sat on his lap and cried while I told him I was dumb and we should just leave 6 and 9 alone. We don’t need them anyways, they are stupid. He cuddled like Dandan did and assured me I wasn’t dumb, and he said besides one day you need to be 9 years old and we aren’t giving up.

The next day we started the damn fishing again. Those nets where the best investment Nannie made haha! After a few errors about half way through the day I started counting my next attempted batch. 1 fish 2 fish 3 fish 4 fish 5fish 6 fish 7 fish 8 fish 9 fish 10 fish. Then I moved to the next Fort and it was 1 fish all the way through to 10 fish correctly. He didn’t say a word. I didn’t notice. I filled up the next fort counting correctly again. I continued to play and count oblivious to my accuracies. After we ate dinner we had our Bon fire and he asked me if I noticed that I got them all right for the afternoon. (You have to understand how long it took me to catch 1 fish, never mind fill 3 exotic resorts of fish!!) I said noooooo I didn’t and started half giggling and crying at the same time. He said yes you did!! What are you talking about Dandan ? I never get it right. And he took me through the recall of filling all 3 forts. How did you fill all 3 if you didn’t count it correctly? Humpfff I thought to myself still half giggling and crying. I might be smart after all.

The next morning we played 1 fish 2 fish…I got it wrong a few times but it wasn’t that frustrating anymore because now I knew I could and have been correct. By the time we left the island I had made up a bazillion counting songs. I’m surprised my sister talks to me after listening to all those numbers for almost a week. By the time we left naked-ville I had conquered number 6 and 9 but I will always give props to Dandan for being persistent, constant and holy patient batman.

The best part: For the longest time when we saw each other we would whisper or mouth the numbers to each other. It was like our very own little secret.

That is the most in-detail memory I have with him. I can even see his hat and the orange folding chair he sat on day after day with his feet in the water at the shoreline. I can even picture him, the age he must of been at. When he got up from the chair his back had the lines from the horrible plastic stringy fabric on his chair. It’s amazing. It’s a memory that has never been lost on me. I’m sure my childhood feelings today, as an adult would translate to the acknowledgement of unconditional love from him and a feeling of accomplishment for me. Amazing.

He is missed a lot and often I think of them both. I’m fortunate to have had him in my life. It wasn’t because of blood linkage that brought him into my life. Was it luck? The stars lining up? Whatever it was, it is obvious I needed him.

My goal in life is to leave a print of the same magnitude on my own children. I’m still working on it.

Sex Sells Houses

Or does it

Warning: R rated. Some language and sexual references may offend.

Don’t complain to me if you don’t like the language, you’ve been warned….

I was driving to an appointment the other day on a busy highway, the QEW. The QEW runs from Niagara Falls border of the USA and Canada, to the heart of Ontario, Toronto. I notice a sign that says ‘Our Homes Are Pretty Sexy, Too”. The WTF light bulb was flashing as I was looking for the next exit. In my head, like usual, a bomb has gone off. I drove off the next exit and drove to the sign and took a picture, I have to send this to my friend, we’ll rant for hours later. Luckily for the builder, there wasn’t an immediate number on their roadside sex billboard or they would of gotten a phone call on the spot. Not that he would of cared, but I would of felt better.

The whole way to my appointment I was ranting in my head about how offensive this sign is to my sensibilities as a parent, as a neighbour and as an intelligent professional business woman. But, I ask myself, is it offensive to others? I always try and follow some logic and I know that just because I’m offended doesn’t mean I’m right. I’d like to note the grammar has annoyed me greatly in that statement. Why the comma after sexy? Not that I have perfect grammar but I’m not on a billboard at the side of the business highway promoting sexy houses.

Of course when I was at home later I showed Einstein. He chuckled and I caught a small roll of his eyes. He knew where this was going. In a deep dark zone where he won’t be allowed out until I say so.

In my best, I’m shocked tone, I said to him ‘can you believe this?’
He said ‘you can’t be shocked. I won’t allow it.’
Hmmmm I thought. That’s an unusual response from him. ‘Go on’ I said.
He continued with ‘sex apparently sells anything. Sexual innuendos are everywhere. You can pretend to be shocked but maybe you should be disgruntled or angry instead.’
‘Good point’ I said. ‘Seriously though, the side of the QEW and we need sex to sell houses now?’
In his usual calm and easiness, he responds with ‘Let’s face it, if she had a dick in her mouth the men would be grabbing their wives and the lineup would be down the road’
‘Really Einstein, this is where we are going to go with this?’ I respond with a small chuckle. He’s getting cheeky in his old age and I might like the competition.
He said ‘I don’t make the rules, I just sit back and observe them. Let’s look at fifty shades of grey. Every horny house wife in North America read her little books full of porn and are now watching it at the theatres on the large screen and you think anyone is going to notice that sign and read into like you are?’

Hmmm. My wheels are turning. Maybe I’m the only one that this has offended. Maybe I just look for things to piss me off. Ok, so do I need to rethink my position here? After all, I read Fifty Shades of Grey. Am I any better than the signs creator?

I have rethought many times and even drove past the sign again a few times. I’m still where I was in the beginning; It simply inappropriate by my standards.

So let’s discuss why this is so wrong and yet so smart. Let’s get the most frustrating over with first; Why they are smart in their advertising.

Obviously sex sells. It is proven. That’s why it’s smart. If sex didn’t sell, why would anyone waste their time and it wouldn’t be money well spent. Sex sells. Starting at the sex trade industry all the way to selling houses, apparently. In general, we are a society that is sold on appearances and sexual images. It’s just where we seem to have ended up. For now. I do think there is a small shift in motion against this advertising as we are slowly recognizing the implications. It’s in TV shows, commercials, movies, and basically most advertising has dipped into sex in some form at some time on some level. This, of course, does not include every company/person, I know this, but I believe I do speak of a large majority in today’s world.

For instance, video games that are marketed to our kids and youth have women characters dressed in sexy provocative clothing with their waists ridiculously small, butts bubbly, perfectly trimmed thighs and big boobs budging out of their skimpy tops. Necessary? I personally find that image so far fetched it’s embarrassing for it to be associated with females. But that’s me…Wound a little tight sometimes.

Have you seen Barbies clothes? I wouldn’t want my child dressed in any of Barbies wardrobe. My daughter did play with Barbie. Excuse me while I pat my back with that wonderful parental choice. (Dripping with Sarcasm). Thankfully the desire for lack of clothing was not an issue ever. Phew. It’s all in the parenting and the role modelling we as parents do.

We have clothing, shoe and accessory manufacturers that will show a make believe couple in a poster or commercial, in a sexual pose, could be nose to nose or cheek to cheek while wearing their items that are for sale. They aren’t nose to nose to smell each other’s breath, it’s the anticipation of the kiss that never happens, but our minds have already envisioned it. The brand has implied a sexual state. So if I wear those items/brand I will find my handsome Prince Charming and be forever sexy Sandy while wearing them? Is that the message that is suppose to entice me to purchase? I wear clothes (thank me later) and I also wear most of the brands that promote items with some form of sex at some point. But trust me, it isn’t because I intend to look sexy or acknowledge the brand has a sexual influence on who I am. I make my choices aware of the marketing behind it. I know by me buying I support the marketing behind it. I’m aware. And I struggle with my own boundaries etc., often. But my community has asked me to remain clothed. What are my options?

Billboards with underwear models. Male and female. I get underwear is well, underwear, and to see it must be, well, worn as underwear, but do we really need to be convinced to buy underwear? I’ll admit I’ve visually enjoyed a male underwear billboard. Thank you Beckham. I’m a hypocrite. I know I know.

Sexy voluptuous lips sell a certain brand of lipstick. Duck season. That’s all I’m saying with this one.

Perfumes that compete for the sexist scent can imply you’re irresistible and will get your funk only if you smell that good.

A store called ‘Pink’ that I recently noticed, has very skimpy clothing that has sizes very small, able to dress children in their elementary school years. Let’s start ’em young? The conditioning. The brand Pink is also synonymous to sexy advertising, so if you’re wearing a ‘pink’ brand item what does it mean? You’re sexy? The posters on their store windows are offensive to me. I’ve actually told them they are shameful for using such young girls in their posters but ranting to the young under dressed sales girls is only letting everyone in on my secret; I’m crazy. However, not all Pinks clothing is short coming with coverage, but the branding on their products is enormous in view. So what message is to be relayed if you’re wearing a pair of sweats from the Pink brand with Pink in huge letters written across the butt. Is it just any other brand, let’s say like Roots, or can the clothing you are wearing associated with the marketing behind it? I would think it is evaluated on individual cases, but if we are attempting to make our children ‘sexy’ we are drastically, morally deficient as a society.

Side note: did you know if you accidentally hit the key beside P for Pink you get Oink?

Of course this is just a few examples … People can add thousands of other examples but I don’t think I need to here. Hopefully my point is being understood.

But just in case I need to drive home the sex selling, let me rant about one more thing. I most recently was at a car show in Toronto. They had female models for the vehicles on display (the vehicles not accessible to the public for up close viewing), and only female models I’d like to point out, that were dressed to appeal to men’s sex appeal. You can’t tell me I’m wrong on this. Why else are the only female models in short skirts, excessive make up and hair spray, skimpy tops and excessively high heels for 12 hours a day. I can and will assume they are selling the sex appeal because as you looked at the female sales reps (very few unfortunately) they are in business suits, nothing bulging out of anywhere and are dressed in classy attire. They are dressed for a different purpose; for respect. Respect of the knowledge they have for the vehicles in a mans industry. So the message sent to me is, if you want a knowledgable sales rep who happens to be female and can trust/respect what comes out of their mouth, she needs to be dressed business appropriate and with classy attire, not the imagery of the models present. Even that is horrible wrong. The models are likely just as smart and intelligent and most definitely, someone’s daughter. Why do clothes present 2 different levels of respect and perception. Ugh. That’s a whole other blog write. Anyways, back on track. If you want to gawk and fantasize about some hot chick in your new sport vehicle beside you, it’s the sexy scantily clad models, not the sales rep in her business suit. What if I want to buy that sports car? Where’s my sexy male model with sock in his jock position perfectly? Pfffft. Please. It’s insulting for the car industry to think it only needs to appeal to the male consumers. I drive and every female I know under the age of 70 drives. Maybe the car industry already knows women don’t need dick appeal to be capable of making a decision.

Back to the billboard in question. Does society demand or require sex to motivate us to buy a house? Is it appropriate for a home builder to associated his/her price tag with sex? Here you go consumers, you get to over pay for this home brand because it is sexy. Logical? NO. Absolutely not. Does this mean if we buy this house, will have a better sex life because my house will be built more sexy? WTF. Do you know how stupid it is to even have to write that last sentence? How does one build a sexy house anyways? Tow hooks above the headboard in the master bedroom to hook up the confined partner? An in-wall safe to lock up all your fifty shades of grey tools? Or a sound proof room with steel doors etc., for your Christian Grey and Anastasia encounters? Exactly how do you build a sexier house than the next home builder? I think I should visit a model home and torment that sales reps. I’m good that way.

Other builders advertisings have families in beautifully landscaped parks, watching a movie in their professionally decorated family rooms…a glorious perfect family image with no dysfunction (haha), washing their cars in their driveways, unloading groceries etc., doing practical family things for their advertising and literature. Dicenzo Homes has chosen to sell sex instead of the luxury home with a perfect family portrait or a preferable living community. Choose us and pay $600,000 + for your very own sexy house. I wonder if that sign has deterred anyone else who potentially would of like to live in that area. I wish there was a way I could find out.

.I absolutely can’t wait to check out the neighbourhood when the development is done. I’ll be sitting there like the stalker I can be, with my latte checking it all out. Probably from the curb side as it doesn’t look like parks are appropriate for sex fiestas. I’m also pretty confident there won’t be any feminists and/or their families living in that development.

Vac-Bate

The Vaccine Debate lives on…forever. And ever.

Oh this hot hot topic just won’t die. How we do get so fired up while we debate the pros and cons of vaccination. It’s a hot topic at many dinner tables these days with the measles cases recently, with a solid line of division for sure. I don’t really get fired up over this .. Just have my own conclusion.

Of course, like many other bloggers I am prompted to write about my theory on vaccines after a new parents’ blog has gone viral with her obvious frustration over people choices to not vaccinate. First off, I totally respect new moms level of protection for their newborns. I’ve been there. Fear often turns to anger. I also respect choice and individuality. All this I understand with great compassion. As much as she is passionate about being vaccinated so many people are passionate about reasons why to not vaccinate. Hence the debate.

I am not here to say one way or another for you or your children, to vaccinate or not. I exercise my rights often and make decisions based on my own research and knowledge. I expect you to have the same free space to construct your own views and decisions. Respectful. We, as responsible adults, have a moral and ethical responsibility to do our best. This doesn’t mean your way is better than mine or visa versa. We hopefully make our decision based on information and what we feel is best for ourselves and loved ones.

We likely know people from both sides of the debate. Each are so passionate about their reasoning. In my experience, previously most people didn’t feel compelled to do much  research, if any, before they immunize their children or themselves, including me previously, and the people who don’t immunize themselves or children have done a fair amount of research. Not immunizing is going against the grain which typically is a result of a fair bit of research and investigation. Immunizations have been around for decades and have had wonderful results. However, with the good is often the bad.

I notice often people invest more time choosing a daycare to send their children too in comparison to the possible effects of vaccines and/or whether to vaccinate or not. I do think this is changing.

One of my first thoughts when the new parent was full of anger towards anti-vaxx’s: does a vaccinated mother passed on any immunity to their baby while in-utero and nursing. I googled. I’m not a professional. Don’t crawl up my back. But it appears our immunity is passed on for up to six months.

Source: http://seattlemamadoc.seattlechildrens.org/measles-outbreak-with-a-baby-at-hom

For Babies Under 6 Months of Age: If a baby’s mother has had her MMR shots and/or had measles infection in her life she passed antibodies to her baby during fetal development while in-utero and continues to pass them passively while breastfeeding. Those antibodies provide protection for young infants and typically are thought to protect infants for up to 6 months or more. The reason babies don’t get the MMR shot sooner than a year of age is because of the persistence of these maternal antibodies — if you put a vaccine in while maternal antibodies are still around the vaccine won’t stimulate the baby’s own immune system to respond, it will just get soaked up by the maternal antibodies doing their job.

Do we trust the research behind that? How valid is this tidbit of info? Maybe you’d find a different source that is contradictory. However, if we can or do trust that, we should have some peace that a newborn should have at least a medium level of safety for the first 6 months. I completely feel the first 6 months should always be approached with caution for exposure anyways, but I don’t think I would fret and alter my daily life. Would I got to Disney world right now. No. Would I purposely expose my newborn to any disease. No. Would I go to a friends house whose toddler has chicken pox? No. Would I continue my typical life of grocery shopping, visits with friends, family and doctor office visits etc., of course.

Remember the days of hurry up and find a child who has chicken pox sores oozing goop? Expose your child, as it’s easier to deal with while they are young? Now they have vaccines for that. My daughter who is 24 didn’t get immunized for chicken pox. She got them around age 3 and definitely had a miserable time with it. My son, who can’t be immunized due to a severe life threatening auto-immune response to the MMR vaccine, got vaccinated against chicken pox at age 6. By the time he was 8 he had chicken pox twice. Twice!! I was told he got it twice because the first time wasn’t severe enough. The second time definitely was a full blown ugly case of chicken pox. Ummm, what about his immunization? Not so much eh? So what’s my thoughts on this immunizations? Flop.

Pro-Choice.

Maybe ‘science’ should explain why according to a document filed on December 13, 2012, Chief Special Master Patricia E. Campbell-Smith awarded Ryan B. Mojabi $969,474.91 for injuries caused by the MMR vaccine. They want it noted that any money awarded is paid from the tax money from vaccines not the vaccine company itself. WTF. DOES IT MATTER? New Jersey girl gets awarded $4.7 million for her debilitating consequence of her vaccine at 2 months of age. Her brain stopped developing. She is almost a pre-teen and has the mental capacity of a 2 month old. There are over 5000 settled cases.

While the government and pharmaceutical companies are busy promoting the safety of vaccines, maybe someone, anyone? can also explain the existence of the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program. The compensation program is funded by a 75-cent tax on each vaccination. (Remember, it isn’t the vaccine companies, it’s the tax from the vaccine. Ugh). Congress created the fund in 1986, at a time when a growing number of lawsuits against vaccine manufacturers was driving them out of the marketplace. Since its inception, the fund has settled more than 5,500 claims, and awarded nearly $1.4 billion. The fund provides compensation for injuries from all vaccines mandated by the federal government: diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis (DTP); measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR); polio, hepatitis B, chickenpox, and H. influenza Type B. (Remember this is a national fund, however I don’t believe the Canadian government mandates chickenpox and flu type B) I’m totally hung up on this compensation fund and that a special tax was created to pay for the damages. This find was a game changer for me. Jump started my thought process.

There is so much information on the web about how vaccines have caused or triggered underlying issues that are later express as Autism, ADHD/ADD, Mental Health, Allergies and Auto-Immune Diseases. (Remember ‘underlying issues’ when you get to my GMO paragraph). There are also as many articles that say vaccines are safe and not linked at all and it is all false. I am comfortable saying vaccines were created to save lives. That is also debated by many. Vaccines have and will continue to save lives. But they also will cause irreversible damage to lives. Both sides of the argument are proven.

However, may I suggest an obvious need to revisit the formulas in vaccines. Or perhaps an alternative method to ‘herd’ control. Tweak it or something. Something. First thing to tweak the F out NOW is the Mercury. Get it out of all vaccines.

I’ve asked myself many many times how has this remarkable increase in ADHD/ADD, Auto-Immune diseases, Autism etc. occurred. How? Until science can PROVE to me that immunizations don’t cause any or all side effects and PROVE to me what does cause these health issues, I would not immunize my children, knowing what I know today. The onus is on science.

Flyp. Born and stamped with a seal of good health. With each immunizations his reactions got worse. He had 2 sets. The swelling, the burning, the flaming red at the injection area was alarming for a parent. Each time he was hospitalized. As a parent I failed. Miserably. The doctors told me some babies reacted in this manner and it was not dangerous and considered among the norm. Why is he hospitalized crying non-stop for at least 12 hours each time. The crying and screaming. You could not calm or settle him. Period. I can not tell you how badly I was at war inside my head.

Stop the immunizations, something is wrong.
But how will he be protected.
Can I not immunize my child.
What do I do.
What are my options.

It was later decided amongst the specialists and doctors he would wait until he was 18 months to see if he could ‘tolerate’ them better and would be administered at the children’s hospital as a precaution. I failed. I agreed to more. My child, a test monkey in a lab. Compliments of his uninformed conflicted mother. I was so uninformed. Hind sight: I should of said no. No to vaccines.

At 18 months was his worst reaction to date. From that moment on he has a blanket exemption from MMR’s and any other related immunizations. Despite that horrible experience I got him the chicken pox as he was struggling with what they thought was some kidney issues and some other health concerns and they feared chicken pox would be really hard on him (chicken pox was spreading like wild fire through daycare – only to learn later that the protection wasn’t immediate anyways) The doctor assured me it wasn’t even close to MMR. What did that mean? It wasn’t even close to MMR. It’s not as toxic? I failed again. Got him immunized against chicken pox. Or did I? He got chicken pox twice. Fortunately without any visible reactions.

Flyp is anaphylactic to peanuts. Flyp has been diagnosed with ADHD as a young child. Flyp has struggled with anxiety past and present. I have researched enough to accept that the vaccination attempts likely played a role in his allergies, anxiety and ADHD. On what level I can’t say, however I’m very confident the vaccines’ ingredients did play a role. I absolutely believe vaccines are linked to these side effects with varying degrees. Now that I am informed and aware, I would not vaccinate either of my children. Ever. However, I know maybe I feel that way because of the diagnoses we have for Flyp and the challenges he deals with daily. For the rest of his life. If all was a smooth running engine would I feel the same? Would I of ever had a reason to be interested and indulged in the available research and information? I’m still not promoting one or the other. Vaccination or not. I’m saying be informed and educated. Make your educated decision. No matter what that decision is. Regrets really suck!

In Addition…
I believe GMO’s and environmental toxins are also responsible and proven to be linked to a lot of health issues, including some of the ones listed above. A real consideration for me is, we as pregnant moms, are toxic bodies carrying our developing babies all while creating their immune system from toxic building blocks. Are we giving birth to toxic babies? Absolutely. Babies have cancer. Toddlers have cancer. Teens are dying of cancer. 20-30 years ago this was almost unheard of. Something is going horribly wrong. Maybe MMR’s were better tolerated before GMO’s were introduced to our daily diet. Maybe not, since the compensation fund was set up in 1986 and GMO’s in our daily food supply followed a few years later. Maybe our toxic children’s immune response (underlying problem) is so altered by GMO’s and environmental toxins that when we add an additional heavy toxic load of mercury and disease, in the form of a vaccine, the response/consequence manifests into Autism, ADHD/ADD, allergies etc. Maybe. Will science ever let us know the truth? Not as long as science is funded by the government and pharmaceutical companies. Not. A. Chance.

Do we really believe that Andrew Wakefield’s research was discredited with absolute unwavering integrity? Or has he been silenced like so many other whistle blowers? If we truly believe Mr.Wakefield’s research was false and doesn’t warrant any factual information, why do we have a National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program? (Can you tell I’m hung up on the compensation fund yet?) We must ask questions. Reasonable logical questions. It’s imperative to ask questions to make our informed decisions. Are we willing to risk it? Should we? Will we? Should we risk the possible consequences of unvaccinated children? Should we risk the possible consequences of vaccines?

I am a parent who is much more informed today than yesterday and I wouldn’t vaccinate my children if it was applicable. My twenty four year old daughter is fully vaccinated. My son does not carry enough anti-bodies to be classified as protected after his horrible experiences. I support my distrust in the vaccines and immunization protocols with extensive research and personal experience. If I could go back, I would have both children unvaccinated. Simple. With that said, I would not drop my kids into a pool of measles patients or expose them purposely to any disease. Vaccinated or not.

What science does acknowledge is that each immune system responds differently. That applies to receiving a vaccine as well. You can have the vaccines administered, but maybe your immune system didn’t create antibodies after all. That’s how in the past, present and the future we will have adults who are vaccinated and get the measles. Or maybe if we are 30+ years old do we have enough anti-bodies left to fight the measles? We know vaccination/immunizations aren’t forever. So does that mean at 30 or 50 years old or somewhere in between, we need another round ?

In my opinion, the likelihood of a car crash, or airplane crash, or early exposure to street drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, bad parenting and tolerated bad behaviour (including entitled spoiled kids) pose far more risks to your vaccinated child(ren) and can carry worse consequences, than my unvaccinated child. It’s just the way the odds fall on the chart.

Thanks for reading. Hope you’ll stop by next time.

Cheers,

Sandy
Just a side thought … Perhaps with our baby welcome package, formula diaper info and/or samples etc. (do they still do that?) They should give information on vaccinations. Not one sided, the truth. The good, the bad and the ugly. All the relevant information we need to make an informed decision, no matter what side of the fence you end up on.

Canada Verses USA

I’m Canadian. A proud Canadian. Live Free, Live Strong, right here in beautiful Ontario. Yet our political family is really quite boring. I don’t care for politics at all, avoid the conversations with everyone, but I do like personality. I know more about Obama, Bush and Clinton than I do Tory, Wynn, Cretian, Martin and Harper. I know too much about Rob Ford, but for all the wrong reasons as he made all the wrong decisions.

Our political family is not personable, showing up on talk shows or writing books. At least I’m not aware of any.  I’m a fan of Bill Clinton, I think mostly because I like Hilary so much. Hilary is smart, strong and fierce. She took her man back, got her ducks in a row and made Billy Bob realize his life would be shit without her. Go Hilary! They are proud grandparents now and it makes the news. Bill has a very likeable personality, BJ or not. Bad decision Bill, but we like your wife so much we forgave you, but it should be noted, only because Hilary did. If Hilary kicked Bill to the curb, we would of all bought the same shoes and started a kickin’.  Bill is a vegan now, except for his fish once a week that he confesses he eats as a recommendation via his doctor. So that means he’s not a vegan duh!! But he professes to be a vegan who eats fish. Can’t wait for the letter that PETA will be sending him. Haha. He was on Rachel Ray the other day. He’s just so personable how can you not like that head of hair. Hilary was on the late show just to remind us how much we like her and I’m pretty sure we all want her to run for house…wouldn’t that be some awesomeness!

Does Harper even have kids? I don’t even care enough to google and find out. He’s bla to me. Does he even have a personality? Can he rent one for his public speaking? Does he do fundraising events? What does he do outside of parliament? Ahhh who cares, it’s probably boring anyways. When we had murders linked to ISIS at parliament, Quebec, Harper was compassionate and aware. I will give him that. But when he wants to assure Canadians that we are safe, he doesn’t speak with conviction. He isn’t fierce. I can’t be a Harper follower. He just doesn’t have even a little spark to him. Can you imagine Harper on Seth’s late night, or with Jimmy Fallon. Ummm no. You have to have personality for that. B o r i n g.

Bush. I love to hate me a good Bush. War slut! I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say Bush owns a gun and smokes a bit of weed with dear old Laura.  Why else would he have that perma-smirk? He does right?! I think Bush would of handled these North Korea, ISIS, and Russian/Ukraine situations with a lot less consideration for human lives. Guns a blazing = Bush. I may not like him too much, but I know way more about him then my political leaders on my side of the border.  He has been on talk shows, talked with Barbara Walters, participated the ice bucket challenge and just been an available personality you can get to know if you want. I think Bush was on Oprah promoting his book and he had my attention.  He’s kind of a smart ass actually.

Wynn. She has a weird voice. By that I mean she speaks volumes on some issues and then falls off the map on others. I think she needs to find balance. Either be an outspoken politician or shush, period. It sure would help me figure out if I like her or not. She does have a bigger voice than Harper in my opinion. She’s a little bit bitchy and I can relate to that ha! I like that she is a gay and there are no beans about it. She has handled it with such class, like of course I’m gay, what’s the big deal. She is just so cool cat about it, that you don’t even care about it when she speaks etc. Or maybe that’s because I don’t care about who she choices to be with at the end of the day. It’s not my decision to make. I know some people don’t vote for her party only because of her sexuality. Here’s a shocker for Ya, they aren’t kind atheists or kind Christians. A politician who will end up in hell? Well, I never … Anyways, I like that she is female and gay.  Puts a little bit of spicy sauce on the boring pasta dish. Is she active in the gay community? Does she do anything for kids and obesity? I have no clue about who she is. She isn’t very interesting in my books.

Obama. I do like Obama. Obama care. Oh that has caught some slack but it’s damn impressive if you think about the population size in the USA. He handles these ISIS threats with fierceness, strong convictions. He delivers a sense of safety.  False sense or not isn’t for me to say.  Canadians could use a Prime Minister who talks with conviction not monotones like he is tone deaf. Obama is friends with Jay and Beyonce. Ok über cool! He has a rocking wife. She is dynamite! You just know she is the back bone to that man. You know she keeps him in line and doesn’t give a shit that he is the president of the USA, she rules that White House and we all know it. I really like Michelle. Class. She has worldly class. She is involved with charities and we know of her charity involvement. That’s the point right? If you have a voice, raise it and use it.

I envision Obama saying shit Michelle, I have to call lame Harper today. Or maybe those two, Harper and Obama, just trash everyone on the phone together and are in ka-hoots. Maybe it goes down with Obama saying you lay low Harper, I got this, I got the big guns that Bush left behind. Who knows.

After re-reading what I’ve written, I realize it’s mostly the partners, Hilary and Michele, that I most like about the past and current Presidents of the USA. I was thinking I should do some research on Harper, Wynn and maybe even this Tory dude. Tory I could sit beside on the subway and not even know it was him. But I don’t have to research for the U.S. Presidents and their spouses…they present the opportunities for us to get to know them through simple media.

I just need to decide if I want to ‘know’ Harper and Wynn. I’m sure the information is there, I just need to dig for it. However, Canadian Politicians don’t seem to have the same platform like our cross border Presidents.  If you’re into politics you will likely know our Canadian politically family personalities but my point is (as stated in first paragraph) I don’t like politics.  I like personalities. Today I’ve got better things to do, then Canadian Poltical personality homework.  I don’t think I’d be thrilled with my findings anyways.

Instead, I think I’m going to search for a sassy, sarcastic, Atheist Prime Minister for Canada. That’s exactly what we need .. Ha! Just kidding. Maybe.

He shoots, he scores!! USA wins with a shoot out for personalities.

Oreos In The Pantry

Definition of Anaphylaxis: Anaphylaxis is a severe, potentially life-threatening allergic reaction. It can occur within seconds or minutes of exposure to something you’re allergic to, such as a peanut or the venom from a bee sting.

The flood of chemicals released by your immune system during anaphylaxis can cause you to go into shock; your blood pressure drops suddenly and your airways narrow, blocking normal breathing. Signs and symptoms of anaphylaxis include a rapid, weak pulse, a skin rash, and nausea and vomiting. Common triggers of anaphylaxis include certain foods, some medications, insect venom and latex. Anaphylaxis requires an immediate trip to the emergency department and an injection of epinephrine. If anaphylaxis isn’t treated right away, it can lead to unconsciousness or even death.

My son, Flyp is an anaphylactic. He’s anaphylactic to peanuts. Most recently he has dropped tree nuts, but we will still be avoiding them for 2 years until we have a second negative test. Simply put a peanut can kill him.

Flyp is 15 years old. Over the years the availability of peanut and nut free foods has definitely been increasing. It’s wonderful. Other allergens such as gluten, milk/dairy etc. are also getting the spot light and allergens are being respected. The FDA has strict labelling laws to help protect anaphylactic persons. This makes a big difference for families living with allergies and/or anaphylaxis. Some big restaurant chains have allergen listings which helps as well. Real progress over the years.

I won’t get into the emotional and physical stress that comes with allergies today. I’d like to just keep it simple in this write.

Dare Foods is superior in peanut and nut free foods in my opinion. Crackers, cookies, jelly beans, June jubes, Melba toast. I just got an email today/press release from Anaphylaxis Canada that Dare has partnered with Cineplex for a safer environment for all. Wow. Impressive. But we also have other companies like Enjoy Life, Nabisco, Quaker, Presidents Choice, Natures Best, to name a few, who have made a lot of peanut/nut free (and some other allergens too) alternatives for families that live with allergies.

Although Flyp does gets some store bought cookies every once in a while…thank you Dare, Nabisco and Presidents Choice, he has always wondered about the famous Oreo. The one everyone loves. The one his friends say ‘man it must suck to have an Oreo free life’. Everyone loves an Oreo. I do prefer to make our own cookies, just way less junk in the ingredients list and we have become used to it with his allergies. However once in a while Flyp wants to have a store bought box of cookies.

Today I was out doing errands before the snow storm hits tomorrow and I noticed a bag of mini Oreos. The bag looked like it has the very recognizable peanut free symbol on it. I did a double take. It is!! Oreo Minis are peanut free. I read the label. Yup. Looked at the other Oreo bags, they all have peanut free symbols on them. I get my phone out and call the 1-800 number on the bag and ask all my relevant questions. They pass the test and make it into my cart. I grabbed a carton of chocolate milk and said today will be the day. A question answered. Yes it’s not the most important question in the world, but it’s one of his many questions in life.

I wish I videoed his first Oreo taste. Flyp is definitely on the Oreo band wagon. Best cookie ever. Being the good mother I am, I didn’t put him in the spot and ask him whose is better, mine or the scrumptious Oreo. I can’t handle the truth. Hahah! He’s a teenager whose never had an Oreo until today. I’m totally cool with taking the back seat for a bit.

It’s just a bag of Oreos to most, but to us it’s been a forbidden item for 15 years. That bag of Oreos is gone less than 4 hours later. I’m ok with it. Everyone needs freedom to eat a whole bag of Oreo minis once in a while.

So, today a bag of Oreo Mini’s made it to the pantry.